The honeymoon is over

We started the year again last Wednesday, last week I aimed to do the basics only and start to add the extras in this week. Even so C has shown extreme reluctance to do the most basic tasks. He needs cajoling and coaxing all the way.

Today it has erupted into outright opposition, just absolutely refusing to do anything asked of him. When he finally was prepared to do maths, an hour after I had planned to start, his self talk was undermining him all the way.
"I can't"
"It's too hard"
"I don't understand"

Now Maths is over, what should have taken 20 minutes took an hour, now we are on to writing, and he is again refusing to do anything.

I refuse to engage in these battles and he stays in his room (without his beloved audio books or he would happily be there all day!) until he is ready to come out and do what is required.

I really am at a loss how to cope. This is totally oppositional behaviour and I know many home educators would tell me to back off, but I know DS and if I back off he will never let me get back into it again, if I give in once I might as well just sign the school admission papers now!

Time out for bad behaviour and rewards for compliance just aren't working. I know he is tired and that will certainly be making it worse, but I don't think that is the whole story.

I have tried explaining the whole "do this now then we can get to the fun stuff" I have tried "do this without complaining and you can watch a movie" I'm about ready to cry frankly.

And how do you teach a kid who is too busy to tell himself he can't do it to realise he actually can. I have tried explaining the damage of negative self-talk, but it is falling on deaf ears.

I know he is under stress as his stuttering has got very bad over the last few days.

I can't admit to non-HSers that this is happening as I know I will be judged and DH is away in the absolute worst time so I don't have his shoulder to lean on and his ear to hear me.